August 2006
Caring
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A manufacturing company president once selected three recently-hired young people for their steady, uncomplaining work ethic.
The executive chose these three to manage his father's service stations, telling them they would be in line for division management if they could show a profit over the next three quarters.
Owen analyzed the convenience store sales records and layout in order to more directly target customer buying habits. He also streamlined the business plan.
Eric worked with Owen and Andrew to give the top mechanics a raise, set up a new appointment system, opened a new quick-lube service, and reorganized the shop into a model of cleanliness and efficiency.
Andrew took responsibility for human resources and community relations decisions. He often surprised his fellow managers by making time to help an employee with a home improvement project, step behind the counter and wait on customers, and clean up after a young boy dropped a jug of milk.
Thanks to the efforts of these three, the service stations each turned a profit for three straight quarters. Owen, Eric, and Andrew were promoted in the manufacturing company. The president particularly commended Andrew for his kind words as he unknowingly helped the president's second cousin clean up the spilled milk. Because of his care for others' needs, the president and board of directors made Andrew vice president.
Relationships comprise the backbone of life, and your ability to build positive relationships depends on your ability to care about others, not just about how they affect you.
By Loren Paulsson
In a Few Words
Byron Reeves and Clifford Nass of Stanford University conducted several studies, exploring the way humans interact with computers. They found that users responded positively to computers programmed to randomly give words of praise.
This observation illustrates the power of recognition, almost regardless of its sincerity. Individuals need to feel significant, and honoring others for their integrity helps reinforce good habits.
Because individuals need to feel significant, they often respond positively to any affirmation, and a danger arises when praise is motivated by a desire to change or manipulate. Ask yourself the following questions:
—Am I hoping for something in return?
—Am I trying to change the other person?
—Am I giving because I'm trying to make up for something?
—Am I hoping to be noticed?
—Am I merely bending to a social norm?
True benevolence freely gives to the other person. As you work to benefit your family members, focus on your responsibility as a parent, spouse, or child rather than on the others' gratefulness.
When you have conflicts with a coworker, deal with the real issue; do not try to atone for your bad attitude by flattering the other person.
Work hard or give gifts because you believe it is right, not because you hope to be noticed. Look for those who need you, and invest in their lives.
Recognize the powerful contributions you can make to others, and do what you can to benefit others.
True Friendship
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At my father's memorial service, countless individuals shared how my father demonstrated true friendship.
Dad grew up in a Houston suburb and attended highschool with several thousand other students. Instead of attaching himself to one group, Dad sought to befriend everyone, especially those who lacked friends.
Dad befriended a classmate who suffered brain damage as a child and was incessantly mocked by other students. Dad would often carry Pat's books and spend time with him after school. Pat still says my father was one of his only friends in school.
Before elevators were installed, Dad and another boy carried a crippled girl upstairs for class each day for three years. When he learned a deaf girl had no date to the Senior Prom, he offered to escort her so that she wouldn't be alone. As class president and member of the football team for three years, Dad could have taken anyone to the prom, but he looked beyond the elite in his class and helped those who were overlooked.
Dad's example of benevolence continued throughout his life, and was affirmed by more than 1,000 friends and family who attended his memorial service.
Practice benevolence as a family by finding a neighbor or coworker who needs assistance and doing something to meet his or her needs.
As your children go back to school, remind them to be friendly to everyone, not just those they know or want to impress. Find those who do not have friends, and include them in your activities. This is true friendship-benefiting others without expecting anything in return.
By Robert Greenlaw
