March 2005

Boyd's Sacrifice

The Jones children cleared away the supper dishes as their father discussed next spring's garden with Grandpa and Grandma Foster. Amid all this, their mother brought out the leftover birthday cake. 

As was customary in the Jones house, five-year-old Boyd was designated to cut the cake because it had been his birthday. He deferred to his grandmother, however, saying "Let's let Grandma cut the cake. She always does a good job."

"Well thank you," Mrs. Foster smiled as she took the knife Boyd carefully offered her.

Boyd beamed at her a moment. Then, assuming a confiding tone, he said, "please make sure I get a good piece."

Sooner or later, your real motives will reveal themselves. Modify your real reasons so as to minimize the incongruity.


Really?

Sincere people give energy and hope to others, but insincerity generates frustration and builds walls.

As the saying goes, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Given the wealth of misleading information—advertising claims, political spin, special interest rhetoric, journalistic bias, and coworker self-interest—a person can easily become skeptical about almost everything and everyone.

Thus, it is refreshing to know and work with individuals who are who they represent themselves to be. When someone proves to be the "the real thing," it opens the door to closer relationships.

These heart checks should help you establish and maintain positive personal and professional relationships.

  1. Think before you speak. Use words and expressions that will convey your true meaning.
  2. Mean what you say. Do not mislead others in order to avoid conflict or gain a particular result.
  3. Don't exaggerate. Constant exaggerations will undermine your credibility, particularly when the audience does not have the background to recognize hyperbole.
  4. Focus on a win-win. Nothing demonstrates sincerity as clearly as acting in a way calculated to benefit another, particularly when you have nothing to gain by the exercise.
  5. Do the right thing. Draw guidance and inspiration from what's right rather than from your changing thoughts and emotions.
  6. Keep your promises. Do what you've promised, even when subsequent conditions make it more difficult.
  7. Correct past failure. When you do fail, admit mistakes, and make things right with those you offend.

Until our sincerity is tested, we should expect others to question our motives. Gaining or regaining trust takes time, but the benefits are well worth the effort. Purpose to do the right thing the first time. When you do fail, make things right—right away.

By Larry D. Rhoads, Director of the Character Training Institute


Sincerity in Action

Coworkers will quickly discern whether you care about what they care about, and they will see everything you do or say through their perception of your motivations. If they see you as motivated by personal gain, even well-worded expressions of appreciation can communicate "I like you because of what you do for me."

Before you can credibly praise or correct coworkers, your life must demonstrate a desire to fulfill responsibilities and meet others' needs. Most organizations need a profit to survive, but the question is whether the profit motive controls or serves your larger mission.

Even though the roots of a person's character remain hidden beneath the surface, you cannot inspire or motivate another unless you demonstrate genuine respect for him or her. You demonstrate this kind of sincerity when you back up team members as they act on your instructions, take the initiative to serve customers, demonstrate personal willingness to do mundane tasks, and allow each team member to contribute to a meaningful end result.

When correction is necessary, do not "let things slide." The longer a situation remains unresolved, the more difficult it becomes to overcome emotions and clarify the actual offense. Without these steps, you will eventually reach a breaking point and communicate little more than personal vindictiveness. Instead, take responsibility to deal with each issue as it arises and seek to help each team member succeed on the job and in life.

This approach may require some work, but it builds working relationships by maintaining transparent standards and fostering trust.


How to Teach Character

Most teachers and parents want their children to develop good character. This is why Character First! has developed systematic tools and techniques for teaching character to children of all ages.

1. Start With Yourself

Each teacher's guide in the Character First! Education curriculum suggests applications for parents and teachers. This starting point gives you a chance to ask, "How can I develop this quality in my life?"

2. Learn the Definition

Character First! defines each quality in behavioral terms. Go over this definition with your students, paying particular attention to the most important concepts. For example, Attentiveness is "showing the worth of a person or task by giving my undivided concentration."

3. Make Practical Applications

Character First! uses five Key Concepts to further define the quality and make each lesson as practical as possible. In the elementary curriculum, they all begin with, "I Will…" Use these applications and any others you develop so that students know exactly what is expected of them.

4. Use Vivid Illustrations

Stories are powerful tools for teaching children. This is why each elementary teacher's guide includes nature and history stories that provide memorable examples of each quality. The secondary level curriculum provides lessons suitable for teenage audiences.

5. Transfer Through Activities

Remember that individuals learn in different ways: audibly, visually, actively, and tactually. Younger students can play games, color pictures, sing songs, make crafts, and do other fun activities from the curriculum. Instructions are provided.

For older students, you can select lessons from various academic subjects, including history, nature, language, science, art, math, computers, social studies, health, and athletics.

6. Reinforce With Praise

After teaching students what to do, recognize them when they do it! Don't underestimate the power of positive reinforcement.

7. Use Visual and Audible Reminders

Take advantage of posters, music, cards, videos, pocket guides, and other support materials to reinforce the character lessons.

Remember, we teach children not for the moment… but for the many moments yet to come in their lives.

By Robert Greenlaw


Character Goes to Jail

It began in September 2001 when the Mayor and City Council of Fort Collins, Colorado, pledged their commitment to character and encouraged "citizens to do all in their power to become known as a city of character." Now the community's character emphasis has reached inside the jail.

Soon after Fort Collins passed the character resolution, the local Poudre School District Board of Education and the Larimer County Commissioners passed resolutions declaring their commitment to character development. Leaders from various parts of the community also formed a Character Council that actively seeks opportunities to advance character development in the community. For instance, a local community college displays a flag for each character quality. A local hospital displays a large banner on its building and distributes handouts promoting character. All 26 area elementary schools have character education for their students, and one school has reported a 67% drop in behavioral interventions since character education began.

In 2001, the Larimer County Sheriff's Office began providing character training and resources for its 400 employees, but now inmates can receive similar training through voluntary character development classes.

"Living by and infusing positive character attributes into every sector of society can only occur as individuals commit themselves to doing so in their personal lives and inspiring others to do the same," said Mayor Ray Martinez. "Now deputies are instructing inmates, helping them to develop good character when they leave…. This can help change lives, and improve the quality of life for everyone."

"I feel like they actually care about who I am as a person," one inmate said. "This is something I will take advantage of. I started here, and I will continue on the outside."

Aaron, another inmate, wants to take character home to his family. "I think this will change my world outlook," he said, "and it's something I want to teach my children."

For more information about the Fort Collins character emphasis, visit Character Fort Collins, or you can find out how to establish your own community of character by visiting the International Association of Character Cities.

By Joshua Jantz